I am ready to come back into the blogging world full force. Yes, I have a lot going on, yes there may be some whiney posts, but I’m fine with that! I can deal with myself, and some drama, and still be overall happy! I am very in love with William, parts of me questioned how I felt about him until he went to jail. I am not someone who depends on other people, I’ve written a post about it before..I hate the feeling of depending on people. Somehow I have tricked myself into thinking I didn’t NEED him, but he was nice to have around. Now, unless you’re married, and in love with your partner, this may seem ridiculous to him, but I did need him. I should take a picture of my room for you, because in the stress, and depression of him not being around, I have became disgusting. My room looked a tornado went through it, I have not eaten correctly in almost 2 weeks, and my sleep habits are horrid. I’ve been eating either about 200 calories a day or 3,000 calories a day, so either way not healthy, and my sleep is 4 hours or 12 hours, also not healthy. I haven’t cleaned my room, hanging out with friends was painful, and all I could do was work and come home.
But guess what? I’m ready for that to end! I plan on waiting for William. Unless he gives me a reason not too, I will wait. I love him, I really do, and being with someone else would be more painful then waiting an eternity for him. There are still no decisions of how long he will get in jail, but honestly it doesn’t matter. I went to see him yesterday, and he had gotten my letters. He looked at me, almost crying, and asked me to eat and sleep. I promised him I would. I poor my heart out in my letters, so if I’m depressed, he will know, but I have no plans of him seeing depression in the next few months, because letters and phone calls will keep me going, and I will have a life outside of depression. I posted a to do list a few minutes ago, and I plan on getting it all done. Then I plan on beginning to eat right, and maybe some exercise. Now, I still live with the parents, so the types of food I eat are nonnegotiable at times, but the amount i eat is always my choice! Always. Now, I have to leave for work in about an hour, so time to get ready, but comments are appreciated, and when I get home I plan on starting on my to-do list.
Oh, and on another note, i bought this cute self improvement book, I will blog about that later too!
P.S. A note of thanks. These people are the ones who kept me from completely going under when he was arrested. You were there for me regardless, and any time I was crying I knew I could FB or tweet you. Karen, Katie, Jewlia, and Crystal <3.