Guess what.

He’s out. I am…ecstatic. But, this doesn’t stop my plans.

Starting Monday

• No more than 1,700 calories a day. For every month I go without eating over 1,700 calories I will reward myself.
• In bed by 10pm every night, unless at work. If at work in bed by 11pm.
• Awake by 7am, though ideal is 5:30.
• Workout at least three times a week.
• Cut down on soda, SLOWLY!
• Start writing in a journal again'
• Cut down on online time, but don’t neglect your friends either.
• Read 30 mins a day, REGARDLESS. This is a priority.

Now to explain all of these..

No more than 1,700 calories a day. For every month I go without eating over 1,700 calories I will reward myself.

This explains itself..I think this is a decent starting out calorie goal, what do you think?

In bed by 10pm every night, unless at work. If at work in bed by 11pm.

Again explains itself.

 

Awake by 7am, though ideal is 5:30.

No more sleeping, productivity is a must!

Workout at least three times a week.

Hopefully I can stick to this one, even though I’m working 5 days a week.

Cut down on soda, SLOWLY!

I’m addicted to it. Not even going to lie, I am. When I cut down to quickly it effects my body in ways I hate to admit.

Start writing in a journal again.

To keep track of my feelings, what’s going on in my head, and for William to read when he gets out of jail <3

 

Cut down on online time, but don’t neglect your friends either.

I can’t be online 24/7. I also can’t neglect my online friends, we’ll see how this goes.

 

Read 30 mins a day, REGARDLESS. This is a priority.

Reading is an outlet for me. It relaxes me, and helps me leave the real world for a while.

Is Coming Back [Full Force]

I am ready to come back into the blogging world full force. Yes, I have a lot going on, yes there may be some whiney posts, but I’m fine with that! I can deal with myself, and some drama, and still be overall happy! I am very in love with William, parts of me questioned how I felt about him until he went to jail. I am not someone who depends on other people, I’ve written a post about it before..I hate the feeling of depending on people. Somehow I have tricked myself into thinking I didn’t NEED him, but he was nice to have around. Now, unless you’re married, and in love with your partner, this may seem ridiculous to him, but I did need him. I should take a picture of my room for you, because in the stress, and depression of him not being around, I have became disgusting. My room looked a tornado went through it, I have not eaten correctly in almost 2 weeks, and my sleep habits are horrid. I’ve been eating either about 200 calories a day or 3,000 calories a day, so either way not healthy, and my sleep is 4 hours or 12 hours, also not healthy. I haven’t cleaned my room, hanging out with friends was painful, and all I could do was work and come home.

 

But guess what? I’m ready for that to end! I plan on waiting for William. Unless he gives me a reason not too, I will wait. I love him, I really do, and being with someone else would be more painful then waiting an eternity for him. There are still no decisions of how long he will get in jail, but honestly it doesn’t matter. I went to see him yesterday, and he had gotten my letters. He looked at me, almost crying, and asked me to eat and sleep. I promised him I would. I poor my heart out in my letters, so if I’m depressed, he will know, but I have no plans of him seeing depression in the next few months, because letters and phone calls will keep me going, and I will have a life outside of depression. I posted a to do list a few minutes ago, and I plan on getting it all done. Then I plan on beginning to eat right, and maybe some exercise. Now, I still live with the parents, so the types of food I eat are nonnegotiable at times, but the amount i eat is always my choice! Always. Now, I have to leave for work in about an hour, so time to get ready, but comments are appreciated, and when I get home I plan on starting on my to-do list.

Oh, and on another note, i bought this cute self improvement book, I will blog about that later too!

 

P.S. A note of thanks. These people are the ones who kept me from completely going under when he was arrested. You were there for me regardless, and any time I was crying I knew  I could FB or tweet you. Karen, Katie, Jewlia, and Crystal <3.

To Do List

To Do List [By Monday]

1. Room Clean & Organized

2. 6 [total] Letters Mailed to William [mailing my 4th today]

3. lyrics for 2 songs written down (weird request by William)

4. fridge stocked

5. financial aid information done.

I need motivation.
I need energy.
I need to feel like someone cares.
I need someone's arms around me.
I need to hear his voice.
I need someone to tell me they love me.
I need to care.
I need to do something other than go to work.

Check Up

I'm doing okay; numb, upset and a lot going on, but I'm okay.

William is in jail. It honest to God was not his fault. I'm waiting for him. end of story [for more info e-mail me. caitlincarsey@live.com]

I’m Still Alive

Just in dire need of a motivation kick <3