Project Revamp

Sleep Schedule Comes First

2010-06-28T19:09:00.001-07:00

So, what is best for me is working on one thing at a time. First, get one thing in order, slowly add in something else, and so on until I get used to it. Otherwise, I get burnt out way too fast. Sleep schedule comes first. When my body adjusts to the sleep schedule enough that I’m not exhausted I will start the workout [beginning with the game]. Then I will work on eliminating things that I know I don’t need [first culprit: caffeine.] I don’t think I will cut out salt. uh I work at BK, that would be impossible. lol.

I don’t want to start everything at the same time, and get burnt out on it all a week later. So doing things slowly is my friend this time.

Wake Up Time [Today]: 5:30AM

New Game to Help Out

2010-06-25T08:13:00.001-07:00

Spades & Hearts = Seconds

Clubs & Diamonds = Minutes

Everyday choose one card from each of the 4 stacks. Multiply the clubs & diamonds. This is how many minutes you will walk. Multiply the hearts & spades. This is how many seconds you will run.

Choose a card from each of the 4 stacks. Multiply the clubs & Diamonds. This is how many push-ups you will do. Multiply the hearts & spades. This is how many crunches you will do.

Rewards:

1) 2 hours of free online time

2) One hour of Food Network

3) One hour of Roseanne

4) No work-out

5) 20 minute foot rub

6) One night of laziness

7) One home cooked meal, with no complaints from the chef ;)

*Credit for this game goes to William, he came up with the initial idea, and I just come up with the rewards and the second challenge part*

So..

2010-06-21T05:11:00.001-07:00

I’m here, awake, got up at 6am. This is part of my revamp, an early wake up time. Otherwise I will stay up until God knows when, and wake up just in time to leave. I’m sick of doing this, it’s like I’m on autopilot and I’m tired of it.

I have to start doing something with my life. William is all game for helping, supporting, and doing whatever I need him to do, but if I can’t motivate myself there’s no way he will be able to motivate me. Today, I was not motivated to get up, not going to lie, but he was, so I did. I’m glad I did, but man, I’m tired! Going to go get some mildly unhealthy breakfast, because I’m starving, and we have nothing in this house. Today is payday, and I may end up buying something healthier selections, because this house is seriously full of disgusting, fat loaded food.

Why does nobody list the calories of their biscuits & gravy online? Oh well, that’s probably what I’ll end up having, but if so I have to leave in 20 mins, so will try to remember to blog tonight <3

The song that is inspiring me:

2010-06-13T10:33:00.001-07:00

Testing

2010-06-12T10:23:00.001-07:00

If Windows Live Writer works again now that I updated it…

So, tomorrow..

2010-06-07T19:40:00.001-07:00

starts my plans..I took one week off to spend time with William, but tomorrow it all starts, and oh em gee, I am worried if I can do it or not.

Guess what.

2010-05-29T09:41:00.001-07:00

He’s out. I am…ecstatic. But, this doesn’t stop my plans.

Starting Monday

2010-05-26T22:57:00.001-07:00

No more than 1,700 calories a day. For every month I go without eating over 1,700 calories I will reward myself.
In bed by 10pm every night, unless at work. If at work in bed by 11pm.
Awake by 7am, though ideal is 5:30.
Workout at least three times a week.
Cut down on soda, SLOWLY!
Start writing in a journal again'
Cut down on online time, but don’t neglect your friends either.
Read 30 mins a day, REGARDLESS. This is a priority.

Now to explain all of these..

No more than 1,700 calories a day. For every month I go without eating over 1,700 calories I will reward myself.

This explains itself..I think this is a decent starting out calorie goal, what do you think?

In bed by 10pm every night, unless at work. If at work in bed by 11pm.

Again explains itself.

Awake by 7am, though ideal is 5:30.

No more sleeping, productivity is a must!

Workout at least three times a week.

Hopefully I can stick to this one, even though I’m working 5 days a week.

Cut down on soda, SLOWLY!

I’m addicted to it. Not even going to lie, I am. When I cut down to quickly it effects my body in ways I hate to admit.

Start writing in a journal again.

To keep track of my feelings, what’s going on in my head, and for William to read when he gets out of jail <3

Cut down on online time, but don’t neglect your friends either.

I can’t be online 24/7. I also can’t neglect my online friends, we’ll see how this goes.

Read 30 mins a day, REGARDLESS. This is a priority.

Reading is an outlet for me. It relaxes me, and helps me leave the real world for a while.

Is Coming Back [Full Force]

2010-05-21T10:05:00.001-07:00

I am ready to come back into the blogging world full force. Yes, I have a lot going on, yes there may be some whiney posts, but I’m fine with that! I can deal with myself, and some drama, and still be overall happy! I am very in love with William, parts of me questioned how I felt about him until he went to jail. I am not someone who depends on other people, I’ve written a post about it before..I hate the feeling of depending on people. Somehow I have tricked myself into thinking I didn’t NEED him, but he was nice to have around. Now, unless you’re married, and in love with your partner, this may seem ridiculous to him, but I did need him. I should take a picture of my room for you, because in the stress, and depression of him not being around, I have became disgusting. My room looked a tornado went through it, I have not eaten correctly in almost 2 weeks, and my sleep habits are horrid. I’ve been eating either about 200 calories a day or 3,000 calories a day, so either way not healthy, and my sleep is 4 hours or 12 hours, also not healthy. I haven’t cleaned my room, hanging out with friends was painful, and all I could do was work and come home.

But guess what? I’m ready for that to end! I plan on waiting for William. Unless he gives me a reason not too, I will wait. I love him, I really do, and being with someone else would be more painful then waiting an eternity for him. There are still no decisions of how long he will get in jail, but honestly it doesn’t matter. I went to see him yesterday, and he had gotten my letters. He looked at me, almost crying, and asked me to eat and sleep. I promised him I would. I poor my heart out in my letters, so if I’m depressed, he will know, but I have no plans of him seeing depression in the next few months, because letters and phone calls will keep me going, and I will have a life outside of depression. I posted a to do list a few minutes ago, and I plan on getting it all done. Then I plan on beginning to eat right, and maybe some exercise. Now, I still live with the parents, so the types of food I eat are nonnegotiable at times, but the amount i eat is always my choice! Always. Now, I have to leave for work in about an hour, so time to get ready, but comments are appreciated, and when I get home I plan on starting on my to-do list.

Oh, and on another note, i bought this cute self improvement book, I will blog about that later too!

P.S. A note of thanks. These people are the ones who kept me from completely going under when he was arrested. You were there for me regardless, and any time I was crying I knew I could FB or tweet you. Karen, Katie, Jewlia, and Crystal <3.

To Do List

2010-05-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

To Do List [By Monday]

1. Room Clean & Organized

2. 6 [total] Letters Mailed to William [mailing my 4th today]

3. lyrics for 2 songs written down (weird request by William)

4. fridge stocked

5. financial aid information done.

2010-05-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

I need motivation.
I need energy.
I need to feel like someone cares.
I need someone's arms around me.
I need to hear his voice.
I need someone to tell me they love me.
I need to care.
I need to do something other than go to work.

Check Up

2010-05-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

I'm doing okay; numb, upset and a lot going on, but I'm okay.

William is in jail. It honest to God was not his fault. I'm waiting for him. end of story [for more info e-mail me. caitlincarsey@live.com]

I’m Still Alive

2010-05-05T20:01:00.001-07:00

Just in dire need of a motivation kick <3

Challenge Time !

2010-04-14T14:28:00.001-07:00

Okay, so remember I said every Wednesday I’d be posting one. Well guess what day it is.

Commenting ends midnight on Monday morning. Midnight my time, sorry I have no idea what time zone I’m in :( Sad, sad reality.

Anyyyway, to the challenge! For every comment made on THIS post I will walk for 30 seconds. William will be doing it with me, so try to torture us? But, I won’t walk for over 2 1/2 hours, due to the fact that I have other things to do, of course. I will be doing the walking on Monday night.

Day of Silence

2010-04-13T08:56:00.001-07:00

Day of Silence is coming up, and after a tweet about it I realized a lot of people aren’t aware of what it means.

The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, and now hundreds of thousands of students participate to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior. Founded in 1996, the Day of Silence has become the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

That is straight from Day of Silence's website. This year is the 14th annual Day of Silence, and will be the third year I have participated in.For a history of the Day of Silence click here. I am going to put information from 2008:

2008 - The 2008 Day of Silence on April 25 was held in memory of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old eighth-grade student in Oxnard, California, was shot and killed by a 14-year-old classmate because of his sexual orientation and gender expression. Hundreds of thousands of students at more than 8,000 schools participated. Their efforts were supported by hundreds of community-based "Breaking the Silence" events at the end of the day. Together, concerned students created a powerful call to action in order to prevent future tragedies.
There are simple steps that all schools can take to make schools safer for all students, to end the endemic name-calling and harassment that LGBT students and their allies face every day. We need to act now so that Lawrence King and the countless others who endure anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment will not be forgotten, and so that we can create an enduring legacy of safer schools for all in their names.

The story of Lawrence King is what opened my eyes to begin with. I had heard of Day of Silence, but had never participated in it until this year.

So please, participate? I understand not everybody approves of LGBT as a sexuality choice, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t LGBT individuals dying daily because they choose to be open about their sexuality.

Adult Content Warning

2010-04-13T08:26:00.001-07:00

Have you ever heard of the “lelo lilly?” I hadn’t either until someone brought it up on twitter! Click. Now I am trying to win it, because I can see there being lots of fun with that.

No Booing

2010-04-10T08:25:00.001-07:00

lOkay, I’ll admit. I failed the water challenge. By a long shot. I hate water, so much, and I was going from 0 cups – 9 cups a day and it was making me feel sick and bloated. So I failed, by far.

BUT, I am turning these challenges into a weekly thing. I won’t give up because I know I can do it, but the water I have to increase on my own first. From now on every Wednesday I will be posting a comment challenge. Commenting will end Sunday night, and i will begin or complete the challenge on Monday.

Sorry I’ve been so MIA but my motivation has been 0, but yesterday I had a bitch fight with mom and it gave me the motivation I needed to be anything, as long as it’s as far away from being like her as possible.

30 Things To Do in April [2]

2010-04-05T04:50:00.001-07:00

Update so far: I am failing on taking the vitamins really need to get on that..

Restock one UB
Blog 15 Times (1/15)
Read 2 New Books
Apply to 5 Jobs
Send Courtney's Letter with Snickerdoodles
Get an A on a Test
Make an in-depth post about "why" and "how"
Track Calories 10 Times
~~Write a note to William about how much he means to me~~
Try 3 new Recipes
Try the Jillian DVD
Pass biology test
Do an hour of studying every night for a week
Reread Columbine by Dave Cullen
~~Get a pedometer [not the Pokemon one ;)]~~
C25K
~~Finish my guest post for~~ ~~A Merry Life~~
Fulfill both Adult Sims' lifetime wishes
~~Consider the negatives and positives about my own domain, and maybe my own hosting?~~
Do 3 wordless blog posts
Comment on 10 blogs in 1 week
Organize New E-mail..[Folders?]
Eat breakfast at least once a week [1/4]
Do 2 Goals per week
Level 38 in Cafe World
Find 3 people and invite them to guest post [1/3]
Take vitamins everyday
Go one day without soda
30 Rep Points [21/30]
2,000 Tweets [1,866/2,000]

Okay; I fail

2010-04-04T17:15:00.001-07:00

I fail at starting goals in the middle of the week. Really, I do. So, we are going to try this again. I am going to start simple..

The Pledge

I am going to reword this, and do it differently. For every comment THIS [not counting last] post gets I will drink 8 oz of water between Mon-Fri. No capacity on comments –glares at Crystal- I want to get back on track. Going to reread some of my motivation posts and hope those help! Links to some motivation would also be appreciated. [Commenting Ends Wednesday]

The Goals and The Pledge

2010-03-31T15:14:00.001-07:00

I hate starting goals mid-week but too bad. I have two, well technically three, goals for April 1,2010 through April 7, 2010.

The Goals

1. No Fast Food

Fast food is easy for me as a college student; but why? The school sells healthy food, and I think they have a microwave. Those are just as easy as running across town to McDonalds or Burger King.

2. Couch 2 5k

-with JewliaGoulia & More. Check it out here.

3. This is more like a challenge or pledge than a goal. For every comment I get on this blog I will drink 2 oz of water next week [starting Monday of course] (limit 10 comments per person, please) Pure water, no kool-aid or flavor added. I got this idea from Karen who got it from Lauren who got it from Mary. =)

Comment Please

2010-03-31T04:45:00.001-07:00

I really have to go to class so this will be a short post but please go comment on Karen’s post.

link

End Of March

2010-03-30T17:15:00.001-07:00

31 Things To Do In March

1. ~~Organize Music Folder~~
2. Download 50 more songs
3. ~~Read 2 new books~~
4. ~~Register for Fall Semester~~
5. Make a “To Be Read” list
6. Create 3 Playlists
7. Apply to at least 5 jobs
8. Go 2 days without soda
9. Go one day without cursing
10. Take a “before” picture, and blog it
11. Do the “Question of the Day” twice on LJ
~~12.~~ ~~Talk to [2] random people at school~~
13. ~~Write a detailed apology letter to Courtney; do not send~~.
~~14.~~ ~~Obtain Sell!Sell!Sell! avatar~~
~~15.~~ ~~Make a new “project 2010” notebook~~
~~16.~~ ~~Find 10 quotes that mean something to you~~
~~17.~~ ~~Make images for 3 of the quotes~~
~~18.~~ ~~Clean Off iPod; put songs back on after correctly tagged~~
19. Take Stairs for 2 weeks straight
~~20.~~ ~~Post 20 times on DZ~~
21. Be below 1600 calories five times
22. Clean off 16gig flash drive
23. Eat Breakfast at least 6 times [2/6]
24. Drink 32 oz of water every day for a week
~~25.~~ ~~Write an explanatory speech~~
~~26.~~ ~~Survive giving an explanatory speech~~
27. Finish pricing mom’s SDB items
~~28.~~ ~~Finish a Schedule~~
~~29.~~ ~~Get an “A” on a test~~
30. Get to level 30 in Atlantica Online
31. E-mail one friend telling them how much they mean to me

Not too bad..

Ask me Anything

2010-03-27T13:01:00.001-07:00

Until Monday I will have no limits, no holds.

http://www.formspring.me/CrayolaCait

New Blogger

2010-03-27T12:34:00.001-07:00

My friend Kevin just started a blogging about getting his life in order, similar to mine. I actually have shared a lot of ideas with him, and that’s one thing that gave him the inspiration to start blogging.

He is a pretty great person, I have been friends with him for over 5 years, and he needs some supporters to help him with the journey.

30 Things To Do In April

2010-03-27T12:03:00.001-07:00

Restock one UB
Blog 15 Times
Read 2 New Books
Apply to 5 Jobs
Send Courtney's Letter with Snickerdoodles
Get an A on a Test
Make an in-depth post about "why" and "how"
Track Calories 10 Times
Write a note to William about how much he means to me
Try 3 new Recipes
Try the Jillian DVD
Pass biology test
Do an hour of studying every night for a week
Reread Columbine by Dave Cullen
Get a pedometer [not the Pokemon one ;)]
C25K
Finish my guest post for A Merry Life
Fulfill both Adult Sims' lifetime wishes
Consider the negatives and positives about my own domain, and maybe my own hosting?
Do 3 wordless blog posts
Comment on 10 blogs per week
Organize New E-mail..[Folders?]
Eat breakfast at least once a week
Do 2 Goals per week
Level 38 in Cafe World
Find 3 people and invite them to guest post
Take vitamins everyday
Go one day without soda
30 Rep Points
2,000 Tweets

Question

2010-03-27T07:30:00.001-07:00

How much water do you drink a day?

Did you slowly increase, or go straight from 0 to –?

Anyyyway, I won’t be around much today, ‘tis William’s 25th and we are spending the day together to celebrate

First Wordless Post

2010-03-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ouch!

2010-03-24T16:13:00.001-07:00

My friend is crazy and has decided he wants to hot roller my hair, and he keeps pulling my hair :(

Help!

Ignore My Last Post

2010-03-23T14:39:00.001-07:00

I didn’t lose 7 followers, I was logged into the wrong account. Oops.

I so just realized..

2010-03-23T13:55:00.001-07:00

that my blogging break lost me 7 followers. I guess that means I can’t take a break anymore lol, I love my followers.

Anyway, this week is a get my shit back together week, and I guarantee you that I will do. I was loving how I felt when I was exercising, eating decently, and sleeping right. I am hating how I’m feeling now that I’m not :(!

Giveaway [not Mine]

2010-03-23T13:26:00.001-07:00

Katie J is giving away a set of Measure Up Bowls.

Go try to win them ! Click here (:

Nothing to Say

2010-03-21T21:18:00.001-07:00

I honestly have nothing to say so:

http://www.formspring.me/CrayolaCait

Ugh Running.

2010-03-18T19:28:00.001-07:00

My body is not made to run, lemme tell ya.

I ended up trying C25K, and I didn’t make it through it. When it said to run the second time I made it about 30 seconds, and couldn’t do it. I turned it into a walk.

I have been advised to only do it 3 times a week, so I will be doing it Saturday, and then I will be on the MWF schedule I want to be on. I need to learn to workout in other ways too though. I am trying to think, I will figure it out.

Another problem. I ate less than 1,000 calories in all today. Well, I didn’t calorie count, but lemme tell ya, I barely ate. i didn’t eat /at all/ before I ran, and I felt light headed after.

Ugh. I need sleep.

The Sleep Paid Off

2010-03-17T16:57:00.001-07:00

While I am not 100% back to myself yet [but I blame that on TOM], I am feeling quite better.

Now, I have decided reducing my calories is not enough. I want to start exercising more. And what do I want to do? Running once a day, and Jillian once a day. I have the Jillian dvd, so that is self explanatory, but Running? Not so much. Links or anything of the such appreciated. [I’m not sure I want to do C25K, but that is a welcome suggestion also]

A Bit Of Honesty

2010-03-16T06:58:00.001-07:00

Today I am not going to count calories

I am not going to care if I get off my ass once.

My throat is worse, I’m stuffed up, and on top of it TOM came. I doubt I’ll be eating much anyway so i will eat convenient things and whatever I can swallow without my throat burning. I am not going to class, It’s a test review and taking notes I can get online. I am going to eat a bit, and sleep as much as I can. I won’t be around much today, but I’ve caught up with blogs this morning so at least tomorrow blog-reading wont’ be overwhelming.

Still Awake yawn

2010-03-15T02:55:00.001-07:00

I’m still awake from last night, and plan on staying up until 8pm at the earliest. After that I can sleep all I want :D

Me very early in the morning, and the mess of my room behind me.

This is before breakfast, shower, anything. If you can’t tell. I look mad because my camera kept taking blurry photos. I don’t like this pic, but I have promised myself I will carry my camera around all week, and will post any photos I take.

Well, off to mess with facebook a bit before making breakfast, and setting lunch out to thaw.

A Quick Update

2010-03-14T18:59:00.001-07:00

I have very little to say..why?

This is my day:

3am-2pm: Sleep

2pm-4pm: Watch Food Network

4pm-8pm: Sleep

I am sick :(

An Award, for me?!

2010-03-13T14:30:00.001-08:00

Oh wow, yes, another blog for today. I didn’t expect to blog again today, but I also didn’t expect Crystal to nominate me for an award (as a last thought, I might add ;) lol)

Anyway, I’m glad she posted because I started following two new blogs because of it, so head on over to Stacy and Desiree's blogs.

Now, time for my nominations. Well, Karen already got a nomination from Crystal, so I won’t re-nominate her, though she is the first person to come to mind.

The second was Katie J whom has inspired me more than I would ever think possible. I love reading her daily updates, and she is truly an inspiration to me. She is also becoming a great friend, and I hope she is very successful.

The third was Julia whom is a young photography student and an amazing wife who has made so much progress in her little time through the journey, and I know she will be very successful.

Last, but certainly not least, Erica. I love reading her blogs daily, and she is an amazing person. I love how she shows her points broken up, and how she ends most blog posts with a question.

Head on over to these blogs, they are absolutely amazing.

A Blunt, but True Post.

2010-03-13T13:22:00.001-08:00

Okay, I feel I have to put this out there, because I’m tired of being afraid of putting my link on FB because people might get offended, because yes along with a “journey” blog, this is my personal blog too. So yes, things may get offensive at times, I may insult somebody, and while I will try not to use names; sometimes it may just be obvious who it’s about!

So, if I talk about you, I’m sorry, but this is my place to say what I’m feeling, if you have a problem with it DON’T READ IT!

I get tired of defending myself to people..”Oh, I was just in a bad mood that day”. This is my place to be honest, don’t read it if you can’t take it.

The List..updated

2010-03-12T20:53:00.001-08:00

1. Organize Music Folder
2. Download 50 more songs
3. Read 2 new books
4. Register for Fall Semester
5. Make a “To Be Read” list
6. Create 3 Playlists
7. Apply to at least 5 jobs
8. Go 2 days without soda
9. Go one day without cursing
10. Take a “before” picture, and blog it
11. Do the “Question of the Day” twice on LJ
12. Talk to [2] random people at school
~~13. Write a detailed apology letter to Courtney; do not send.~~
14. Obtain Sell!Sell!Sell! avatar
~~15. Make a new “project 2010” notebook~~
~~16. Find 10 quotes that mean something to you~~
~~17. Make images for 3 of the quotes~~
18. Clean Off iPod; put songs back on after correctly tagged
19. Take Stairs for 2 weeks straight
20. Post 20 times on DZ
21. Be below 1600 calories five times
22. Clean off 16gig flash drive
23. Eat Breakfast at least 6 times
24. Drink 32 oz of water every day for a week
25. Write an explanatory speech
26. Survive giving an explanatory speech
27. Finish pricing mom’s SDB items
~~28. Finish a Schedule~~
~~29. Get an “A” on a test~~ [Psych; found out 3/8/2010]
30. Get to level 30 in Atlantica Online
31. E-mail one friend telling them how much they mean to me

The Images for Teh Quotes

2010-03-12T20:15:00.001-08:00

First of all, from now on every Friday I will repost my list with the things I’ve done marked off. Secondly, I will blog about my progress. Tonight I have started organizing my music folder, I wrote the letter to Courtney, have it sealed. Plan on mailing it 4/12/2010.

Here are the images for 3 of the 10 quotes I chose:

I’m not sure how I feel about 2 and 3, but I LOVE the first one. I used to love doing random graphics, and that’s something I wouldn’t mind getting back into.

We Have A Winner

2010-03-11T18:06:00.001-08:00

And the lucky winner is:

Send me your address luff, and I will mail it by Saturday morning. This was fun, and I will definitely have more giveaways as soon as possible ! :D

10 Quotes

2010-03-10T23:44:00.001-08:00

Here is my list of “10 Quotes”

1. The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. --Ben Stein

2. Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.--Confucius

3. Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses –Confucius

4. It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop –Confucius

5. It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. –Charles Darwin

6. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --Aldous Huxley

7. The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. --Author Unknown

8. One should eat to live, not live to eat. --Cicero,Rhetoricorum LV

9. The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. --Andy Rooney

10. I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. --Ed Bluestone

Reasons for Overeating?

2010-03-09T20:12:00.001-08:00

I am making a spreadsheet of reasons I overeat, and what I can do instead.

I know stress is a major one, but I need some help, because honestly I haven’t learned enough about my body to know.

Why do you overeat, and what do you do about it?

Oh, and don’t forget about my giveaway

Oh wow

2010-03-09T14:44:00.001-08:00

I thought having a giveaway would get me MORE followers; I’ve actually lost one since starting it :( This makes me a sad girl, I want more followers because you guys keep me accountable.

Don’t forget about my giveaway..

Giveaway from iHerb ;o

2010-03-09T14:19:00.001-08:00

Check out the $50 shopping spree giveaway on Mary’s Weight Loss Blog! I can win an $50 Shopping Spree Giveaway from iHerb.com and so can you! Click here for contest details!

Giveaway Time

2010-03-08T21:29:00.001-08:00

No, it is not diet coke stained [angel face]

This book was given to me by the wonderful Katie J, and now I will give it to you, here is how to enter:

1. Post a Comment with a random sentence about yourself [1 entry]

2. Tweet “Head on over to http://tinylink.com/?h9xXqEoPeZ where @CrayolaCait is having a giveaway..comment about it [1 entry]

3. Do a blog about it, and leave a comment linking to it [3 entries]

The winner will be decided at 8 P.M. [Illinois time? lol] on Thursday March 11th, by random.org

New Layout

2010-03-08T11:51:00.001-08:00

I love this one, so maybe I’ll keep it for awhile. Still need followers so I can do a few giveaways, so keep that in mind ;)

31 Things To Do In March

2010-03-08T00:34:00.001-08:00

I’m posting this a little late, therefore i will have to work even harder to get them done, but here it is:

1. Organize Music Folder
2. Download 50 more songs
3. Read 2 new books
4. Register for Fall Semester
5. Make a “To Be Read” list
6. Create 3 Playlists
7. Apply to at least 5 jobs
8. Go 2 days without soda
9. Go one day without cursing
10. Take a “before” picture, and blog it
11. Do the “Question of the Day” twice on LJ
12. Talk to [2] random people at school
13. Write a detailed apology letter to Courtney; do not send.
14. Obtain Sell!Sell!Sell! avatar
15. ~~Make a new “project 2010” notebook~~
16. Find 10 quotes that mean something to you
17. Make images for 3 of the quotes
18. Clean Off iPod; put songs back on after correctly tagged
19. Take Stairs for 2 weeks straight
20. Post 20 times on DZ
21. Be below 1600 calories five times
22. Clean off 16gig flash drive
23. Eat Breakfast at least 6 times
24. Drink 32 oz of water every day for a week
25. Write an explanatory speech
26. Survive giving an explanatory speech
27. Finish pricing mom’s SDB items
28. Finish a Schedule
29. ~~Get an “A” on a test [Psych; found out 3/8/2010]~~
30. Get to level 30 in Atlantica Online
31. E-mail one friend telling them how much they mean to me

Busy Busy Busy

2010-03-04T07:46:00.001-08:00

I’m not even going to have the normal “info on book I’m reading”, nor have I followed my “blogging schedule” much at all this week. I think I’m going to revise that a bit, because week before spring break = busy. But it’s worth it, since it all leads up to…SPRING BREAK! Which Must I say I am looking forward to more than you can imagine.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love school, but it is bringing me down quite a bit, it’s stressing me out, so yesterday I wrote out a “Spring Break Goal List”. I shall share it with you if I can find my notecards *rummages through purse*

Can’t find them, so I will post more about it later!

HoneyBar Giveaway

2010-03-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

A fellow blogger has been posting about HoneyBars a lot lately, and is now doing a giveaway of them!

Click the picture below to visit!

http://lifehealthfit.blogspot.com/2010/03/honeybar-giveaway.html

Tuesday + Shoutouts

2010-03-02T12:38:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I didn't post yesterday. Monday will NOT be a meal plan day, because frankly I'm forgetful, and I change my meal plan from day to day as I find suitable..Sorry haha.

I am stressed. bottom line. I have been okay on eating though, aside from yesterday where I had a mini binge, but I still don't think I went over 2,000 calories, so I'm okay with it.

Shoutouts:
MrsFatAss
KatieJ
Slender Swan

100 Truths

2010-02-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

I normally don't do this type of thing in a blog, but eh don't have anything to post about until later, so here it is :

100 Truths

1. Last beverage - diet coke
2. Last phone call - Er...unsure
3. Last text message - Emails
4. Last song you listened to - No idea
5. Last time you cried -Last night

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice - Yes
7. Been cheated on? Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Yes
9. Lost someone special? yes.
10. Been depressed? - yes.
11. Been drunk? - Yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Hot pink
13. Lime Green
14. Black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends - yah.
16. Fallen out of love - Nope
17. Laughed until you cried - Yes :)
18. Met someone who changed you - Not exactly, I already knew him, but I remet him in October.
19. Found out who your true friends were - Definitely
20. Found out someone was talking about you - Kinda
23. How many kids do you want to have - 4
24. Do you have any pets -3 cats
25. Do you want to change your name - Nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday - Tattoo; license
27. What time did you wake up today - 8:10am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for - Wedding Day
30. Last time you saw your father - Bio: about a month ago Step: last night
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - My weight
32. What are you listening to right now - Nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I guess
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? -Nothing (:
36. What’s your real name - Caitlin Alexandra Burke
37. Relationship Status - Engaged
38. Zodiac sign - leo
39. Male or female - female.
40. Elementary - Wells Elementary
41. Middle School - Grayville Junior High; Sumner Attendance Center
42. High school - Red hill High school, Edwards County High School, Mill Shoals Behavioral School, Mt. Carmel High School, GED.
43. Hair color - Right now? reddish pink
44. Long or short -long
45. Height -5'5"
46. Do you have a crush on someone? - It's more than a crush
47. What do you like about yourself? -Not a lot right now.
48. Piercings - Took them all out :(
49. Tattoos - Have 2; want more
50. Righty or lefty -right

FIRSTS:
51. First surgery - ears
52. First piercing - tongue
53. First tattoo - butterfly
54. First best friend - Don't remember
55. First sport you joined - T-ball
56. First pet - I dunno
57. First vacation rembered - Errr
58. First concert - never.
59. First crush - Steven..

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating - Nothing.
62. Drinking - nothing
63. I’m about to - Do nothing lol
64. Listening to - The vent?
65. Waiting for - William to wake up

YOUR FUTURE:
66. Want kids? Yes
67. Want to get married? 5 months; 20 days
68. Careers in mind?Criminal Psychology

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes - eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses - kisses
71. Shorter or taller - taller
72. Older or Younger - older
73. Romantic or spontaneous - spontaneous.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms - stomach
75. Tattoos or piercings - Doesn't matter
76. Sensitive or loud - loudd.
77. Hook-up or relationship - relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant - in between.

HAVE YOU EVER:
79. Kissed a stranger - Yes
80. Drank hard liquor - Eh
81. Lost glasses/contacts - yes.
82. Sex on first date -Once :(
83. Broken someone’s heart -Yup
84. Had your own heart broken - Oh yes
85. Been arrested? - NOPE.
86. Turned someone down - …yeah.
87. Cried when someone died - yea.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? - yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself - somewhat.
90. Miracles - yes.
91. Love at first sight - no.
92. Heaven - Eh, I'm working on my answer
93. Santa Claus - of course.
94. Kissing on the first date? - depends on the feeling.
95. Guardian angels -Not sure

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? -He's beside me.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? - Yes
98. Do you believe its possible to choose one person and stay with them forever - YES
99. What’s the something you cannot live without? - One? I have about 20
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? - yes

Newsflash;

2010-02-26T17:20:00.001-08:00

Anytime you go with your mother anywhere and you don't know how long you'll be gone TAKE FRUIT AND STUFFS (:

2,300 calories for the day..yay starving and binging-ish.

Confucius + Fridayyy

2010-02-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

“ It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop." Confucius

Today was kinda boring so far, had toaster waffles for breakfast. These aren't exactly healthy, but hey as long as I"m within my calories I'll live [for now]. This quote is perfect for me at the moment though, I'm taking everything slowly and just trying to get what's best for me, William, and our [future] children. I am not going to rush it and "relapse". I'm going to do it right, take steps. I'm cutting down calories considerably, I'm used to 2500 a day, and I'm getting between 1300 and 1700, and I can button pants that haven't fit in years. I really want to start running, but boy, it's COLD!

Might do C25K, but want a new ipod first..we'll see. I may be stuck using the current one, if William will give it up for a bit a day lol

Thursday Post & My Sister's Keeper

2010-02-25T08:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I really need some more followers. Every time I see that number go up I get a tad bit more motivated, so here is how I will motivate you. At 30 followers I will give away my copy of DietGirl, which I have thanks to the amazing KatieJ. She sent it to me around September of last year, and while it took me a while to finish it due to unmotivation, I have finished it and I LOVE it.

Around 60 followers I am thinking of giving away a year subscription to either Self, Fitness, or WeightWatchers magazine, I am not 100% sure, but there will be another giveaway.

Anyyway, so lately I have had little choice over what I ate, I'm living with my mom and controlling my food isn't easy. BUT I have very much realized I DO have control over HOW MUCH! I eat. So instead of being a stickler over what, I am doing portion control. I have been making her buy fruit though, which I have been gladly gobbling up. Right now we have apples, grapes, and Bananas. I love them all! May start eating some Peanut Butter with my apples so that I get some more protein in, as I'm sick of chicken every single night.

Mmk. Thursday's Theme is information on the book I'm reading. Which is:

So far it's really good, a lot better than the movie! I'm on page..probably about 100, and I would give it a 3/5 stars. I may do a small book review on it when I finish; I haven't decided.

Happy Thursday, everyone, I would try to post again tonight but have a night comp class, so we'll see.

"I'm Bluffin' with my Muffin"

2010-02-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

I won't tell you that I love you

Kiss or hug you

Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin

I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning

Just like a chick in the casino

Take your bank before I pay you out

I promise this, promise this

Check this hand cause I'm marvelous

I have decided to try something to make me more motivated to post:

Monday: Meal Plans for Following Week
Tuesday: Shout outs to other bloggers [Comment if you want one, otherwise I will just choose one I'm majorly interested in]

Wednesday: Lyric of the Week

Thursday: Info on book I'm currently reading (:

Friday: Quote of the Week

There will also be my normal post; and my reason for choosing what I did

Lyric of the week was brought to you by Lady Gaga; Pokerface. She inspires me so much, she's amazing in every way. She isn't afraid to be herself, and hopefully one day I will have her confidence.

Now, onto me: All week I have been under 1,700 calories, which is my goal. Am up a bit on water, but still not perfect. The exercise is not GREAT, but I have quit taking the elevator all together (:

Comp Paper Help?

2010-02-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

I have to cut my comp paper down from 1600 words to 850 words, right now I'm down to 1,211 so am going to paste it here for more insight. It's due Thursday, so if you find anything unneeded let me know:

Caitlin Burke

Judy Donaldson

ENGL 1111

25 Feb, 2010

Love Survives

Have you ever had a time when you were in conflict with yourself? This happened to me on Halloween of the year 2009. I had to choose between my happiness, and the happiness of my loved ones. It was probably the most difficult night of my life, and tonight I am going to share it with you, along with some of the events that followed.

First of all, of course, I have to share some background with you. October of 2009 I was a student at O.C.C., and had no idea what I wanted to major in. I was taking my basic classes, biology, speech, things like that, and I loved it. I had amazing grades, straight A’s, and I had few worries. I lived at home with my parents, my two brothers, and a friend. I had things extremely easy. Now, I have to tell you about that day, and what turned into the hardest decision of my life.

The day began with the dreadful drive from West Salem, Illinois to Peoria, Illinois. My mom was driving, and Matt, the friend I mentioned, was in the backseat. It is around 400 miles, and with a stop in Mattoon it took us over 7 hours to get there. My reason for going there was to visit my boyfriend, William. Nothing eventful happened on the way there, so I won’t go into much detail, just keep in mind it took 3 hours more than it should have.

Around 4 in the evening we began to see the outskirts of Peoria. I was in love at first sight. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the tall buildings, and my mouth kept dropping with every few miles we drove. We got to Timberlane Apartments about 30 minutes later, and of course, got lost within the complex. Yes, that is my mother’s sense of direction, can make the drive without a problem but gets lost in the last 10 minutes. William, like any gentleman, met us at the van. I hadn’t seen him in 4 years, but when he hugged me, that didn’t matter. We all went to IHOP to eat, and while the food was disgusting, the company was amazing. We laughed, talked, and we were completely comfortable.

After IHOP, we went back to the hotel. Out of boredom, William and I decided to walk to Northwoods Mall. On the walk there I was very nervous. My thoughts were mixing together, and speaking was as difficult as physics. I was very clumsy, and it is beyond me to this day how I did not end up on the ground.

“Caitlin, what time do you expect to leave tomorrow?” William asked, clearly upset at the idea.

“I don’t think I am,” I replied.

At that moment it felt like time was standing still. Neither of us knew what to say. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting, and it surely wasn’t what I expected to come out of my mouth. I don’t remember speaking again until we got to the mall. What comes next, though, I definitely remember.

He stopped outside the mall, and started kissing me. I nervously pulled away, and I noticed him slowly lowering to one knee. My heart started racing, and my thoughts were jumbled. I knew what he was doing, it was just unexpected. He spoke a mere 7 words, but they left my mouth dry.

“Caitlin Alexandra Burke,” he said slowly, “will you marry me?”

I couldn’t find the strength to speak, so I simply nodded as he slipped the ring on. He smiled at me, and I knew I had to make a decision. I had to decide whether to stay with him, throw my semester away, and face losing my family, or to come home, knowing that the distance could kill our relationship. I thought about it as we walked through the mall. In all honesty, I did not make up my mind until getting in the elevator at the hotel. That’s when I knew for sure what I had to do.

I walked into the hotel room nervously, looking around the room before completely entering. I grabbed my phone off the charger, and grabbed my bags.

“Mom,” I said, choking on the word, “I am staying here with William.”

The next few days, as expected, were hard. We had breakfast with my mom before she left, and she cried through most of it. She went home, but not until making me promise to think about it. I was to stay a week, and then come home for a few days. Only then could I decide to stay, and her accept it as my decision. The week was perfect, though most of it was spent lying beside each other talking.

The week went by fast, and before I knew it the time had come for the visit home. I had already made my decision to stay, and I had already dropped my classes. There was no backing out now, and I knew it. The visit home was eventful yet uneventful at the same time. I was home for around 5 days, and while I loved being around my family and friends, the whole time I missed William like crazy.

‘ The week of Thanksgiving William and I visited home together. This was the most eventful time of my life, as nobody approved of my moving up there so quickly, and with such little thought. The introductions were hard, but the looks of disapproval were worse. I had heard every excuse for me to come home.

“He’s too old for you, Caitlin!” my grandma screamed over the phone. She had never met William before, but the seven year age difference was enough for her to hate him.

“Grandma, it’s not that much of a difference.” I answered slowly.

I was almost happy when this visit was over. I was ready to go back, away from the drama. I was broken-down, and didn’t want to deal with any more conflict where this matter was involved. I wanted everyone to approve without much effort on my part. I slowly realized this would never happen.

Eventually, I realized I could not afford a big city.

“Mom, I can’t afford to live up here, but I’m not coming home without him.” I knew she would have no choice but to let us both live with her.

Here we are, February, and William and I are finally adjusted to living together, and are now adjusting to living together with supervision. We have set a date for the wedding, August 18^th, 2010, which is also my nineteenth birthday, and we are anxiously preparing for that. The move to Peoria taught me a lot about myself, and it forced me to mature. I had to take care of myself, and could not rely on my mother as much as I was used to doing. I do not at all regret my decision, as it taught me that I can take care of myself, I can be brave, and that regardless what some people say, love makes you do extremely stupid things, even if they do end up making you the happiest person alive.

An Introduction..Of Sorts

2010-02-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

This is an introduction post, in ways. You will get to know more about me, my life, and my goals than you would ever probably want to know.

**My name is Caitlin Alexandra. I live in the tiny town of West Salem, IL. I am engaged to my "dream guy", per se, and it's hard to imagine life without him.**

**I dye my hair..a lot, but naturally;; a blonde. Blue eyes.**

**Around 220 pounds or so, afraid to weight myself, so only do so at doctors appointments**

**Piercings, tattoos. Love them. No piercings besides ears [took them all out], 2 tattoos.

Enough about the obvious, now to the more in depth description.

I'm bipolar, suicidal, and manic depressive. Have been since around the age of 11, and I so badly want to overcome it. I have overcome cutting, which I guess is a good thing. There are still times I want to cut, but I haven't.

I started cutting around the first time I was molested, I know, I am getting very personal and in detail, but molested twice, raped once [by a boyfriend, at that].

I'm very insecure, and love to compare myself. Too short, too fat, whatever it may be, I see it. Whether it's accurate or not.

I want this all to end.

I want to be better. For myself, for my "knight in shining armor", for our [future, unborn] children. To show my mom "Hey, I'm not you. I CAN better myself! I wont' be 52, at 400 pounds, in an unloving marriage, with a million health problems, lazy children, and no wants to better myself."

Because, hey, just because she gave birth to me doesn't make me anything like her!

I won't blame my children for everything, and when my 18 year-old's ex hits her, I won't say "oh she can handle herself!". I will care about my children and my husband more than I care about my best friend, especially when she back stabs me every other day. When my daughter is having an asthma attack I won't stay on the phone and say "Oh, she'll be alright"

Guess what? In all these instances: *I'M THE DAUGHTER*!

I will make it through college, and get a degree. I will become a psychologist, and hopefully finish to be a Criminal psychologist. I will have a family who sits at the dinner table and eats.

So from this day forth, fuck genes, fuck environment *I'M IN CHARGE!*

2010-02-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

So, I am actually in the midst of writing an "introduction' post of sorts, as I know most of you know who I am but if you didn't follow the last blog you've never seen an actual introduction.

Buuuuut, I just won a giveaway!

I never thought it was possible, but I did -is excited-

Check out Margo's blog 10 Easy Pieces ; it is a really cool blog, and is also where I won ;)

Jillian? :o

2010-02-10T11:21:00.001-08:00

Look what I just got! Yeah, that's William holding it up.. lol

2010-02-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

Finally, things calmed down.

I know I promised to start posting normally, but certain circumstances made that nearly impossible, such as 4 tests right in a row. *silently curses professors*

So, I am working on organization, just got done studying for my test on Tuesday, but I will start posting if it kills me, me not blogging is definitely showing as I have no escape and go off a lot easier.

2010-01-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

*Yawn*

Life has been absolutely crazy. This weekend is going to be spent trying to get everything in order so that I don't feel as bad when I don't blog, and from now on even when I don't have the time I'm going to start blogging between classes, because I mildly feel like I abandoned ya'll. I finally read a book from my TBR list ! It was Columbine - Dave Cullen. It was absolutely amazing.

Eh this is so not a real post, but so much to do today.

Real Post :o

2010-01-15T11:12:00.000-08:00

I seem to have had a request for a real post. This may just be it. I am half asleep, so can't promise how long this will be, but it will be an update none-the-less.

Okay, so William is at my parents with me now, and at least I am not as lonely. He's been there about a week, and it is great! I hate being apart from him, so any environment is good, as long as I'm with him.

Also, the marriage has been put off, probably until My 19th birthday (August 18th), because I can't afford to lose my medical card right now. Ick, but whatever.

Uhh...I am back in school, the one thing I missed about my random move, but am mostly retaking what I dropped out of last semester. I love it though, and am loving having a semi-life. Though I am hating the early hours.

Mmk, this is enough for now, but Hey, it's an update, and I am working on getting back on track, so maybe soon you guys will be getting daily posts again -crosses fingers-

2010-01-12T07:36:00.001-08:00

Testing text post

I am not MIA..promise

2010-01-06T05:26:00.001-08:00

Dealing with moving me and hubby back home for awhile, long story, so I don't have time to do anything.

I haven't slept at all, and probably won't until later today, so more detailed post..tomorrow maybe?

Uncertainty and Dependency

2010-01-02T14:52:00.000-08:00

These are two feelings I hate more than anything in the world, and I'm feeling them both lately, but I refuse to let it get me down.

We may be moving in with my mom, I won't know until Monday, the uncertainty of what's going on is killing me. Normally when I have this amount of uncertainty I depend on myself, and myself only, but lately when I get depressed because of it I find myself wanting to be closer to William, in any way possible, so that's where dependency comes in. Am I ready to let him take some of the responsibility, ready to depend on him more? I hate depending on anybody but myself, and sharing the dependency is something I never saw myself doing. I depend on him to sleep, to help me in many ways, and I hate it. Guess it's time to get used to it, eh?

Now I will be posting again in probably 20 minutes, or however long it takes me to finish some organization, take some pics, and such, but first leaving you off with some good news.

Last time I was at home I went to the doctor. The scales here read similar to the doctors.

Doctor a little over two weeks ago : 216

Weight today : 202

I'm shocked, that's with not trying at all, no exercise, now I can't be positive that's 100% right, so will weigh in at doctors again when I get home, but I have definitely lost a bit. So 202 is my official starting weight, and will probably be able to weigh in at doctor mid week.

Oh how I love alone time !

2009-12-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

Finally, I can blog in peace, quietness, tranquility..okay you guys get the point. My post might not be as all over the place as it normally is !

So, I will be working on MORE organization, it's going so slow because quiet time is very rare around here. I'm always around him and tv, music, or something is always distracting me. I am so happy to finally just have some..me time. I love him, don't get me wrong, but being around him 24/7 is definitely not for me. He wanted me to sit in there and work on organization, but thank heavens I convinced him to just shut up and let me sit out here, lol.

I just unlinked my facebook and twitter. I like to be able to "tweet" about my blogs without them being broadcast! I hate my family for spying on me still, and refuse to let them get this link, and if they do, I will probably just leave it. If they don't want to know something, don't read somewhere where you know I will be completely honest.

Going to vlog again tonight, but may not post it over here, but will definitely twitter about it, so you guys can check it out for those of you that have me on twitter/FB. I may post a link in my next post, too.

So today, I woke up to a comment from Lyn, and well Lyn expires me more than pretty much anyone I've ever read, so now I am ready to hyper-mode it all. I'm so ready for new years, and so ready to be able to start this all. I would just start now, but I know with the lack of organization I would fall on my face, so 3ish more days?

Well, I will probably be posting later tonight, including a few pics maybe.

2009-12-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

I went mildly MIA, have had a very busy last couple of days. To begin with I went into ER the other day with some very painful woman problems, ended up not being anything serious, but still my pain has been unreal. Finally got my prescriptions filled today, so feeling pretty good.

Have been working on organization mildly, haven't felt like doing anything at all really. I have been online a lot, but blogging would have been too much of a challenge. Finally up to that again.

I know I promised my goals list, but as I"m still working on some major organization, that will come next post instead. Sorry!

I have followed a lot of new blogs that I am absolutely loving, and now that I'm feeling better I can start commenting more again!

Organization +

2009-12-21T10:27:00.000-08:00

Organization is going well, been doing a lot towards it. About to go tidy up the room a bit, I think it's about TOM, because my cramps are keeping me from doing a lot. Getting up is hellacious, so doing as much as I can laying on my stomach in the middle of the floor.

About to do a follow-up call on the interview I had Friday, and while I'm major nervous I know I have a chance, so going to be as confident as I can when making the call. Thinking of taking some excedrin, and laying down, but know a nap is not the best right now. Going to take pictures of my notebooks and such later, but first have to finish up a bit more. Also with my next post will be my goals list.

This is a short post, but I hate not blogging on a daily, or almost-daily basis.

12/19/2009

2009-12-19T06:34:00.000-08:00

Well, it went well, should know more by Monday, supposed to call them mid-afternoon on Monday..wow -nervous-.

Right now I am about to mutilate William, he is playing Linkin Park which is migraine-giving, and I don't feel well, and is being mildly idiotic. About to reach over and turn it for him.

Anyyyway, going to clean today and do some major organization that I was supposed to work on at home, yeah didn't have much time for that did I?

9/30 followers, and I'm getting closer to being done with dietgirl. Page 241/307.

Am I the only one who gets extensively jealous when exes are mentioned? Or at least a certain ex, maybe I'm an idiot, but there are times where I can handle anything he says about her, and just think "He's mine now". Other times he just mentions her and I cringe. We are getting married soon, I need to stop worrying.

Eh, maybe it's just stupid insecurities? Maybe I'm an idiot lol.

Off to clean/organize/whatever else needs done.

Oh wow

2009-12-18T05:30:00.000-08:00

So, I was home for the "holidays'. I wasn't extremely happy about it I missed William like crazy. So night before last I check my voicemail.."Caitlin this is Heather calling from AFFINA, I was wanting you to come in a job interview..." so I called back the next morning. She did an over the phone interview, then scheduled an in person interview, so last night we got to drive me back to Peoria, after being home for a whole 3 days.

My mom wasn't quite amused. She was glad she got to see me, but it was supposed to be for 2 weeks, not 3 days. But, this means, Christmas with William! Win?! lol.

But, in about 5 hours I will be in a job interview that I am so nervous about, I am mildly bilingual, and that's the only reason I'm getting a chance. I have to be able to answer the phones in Spanish, which I can do, but I blank a lot in spanish too. I'm trying to speak a lot of it now to practice.

"Hola, como estas hoy? Bien? Oy muy bien gracias, Se llama Caitlin y llamamiento de AFFINA..."

I guess that's pretty good. Just hoping she doesn't extensively quiz me. Also have to do a typing test. She said I have to be able to type 25/wpm with 65% accuracy, so last night I took a typing test. 110/wpm with 99% accuracy. So I think I will be fine !

Wish me luck, I am major nervous, and there is a possibility I haven't slept yet, so I need all the luck I can get.

The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl

2009-12-15T23:45:00.000-08:00

6 comments on my first post? I'm shocked, I almost never got that many, haha.

I want to thank everyone for their support, I really needed it. I feel good about this though, I'm starting over so why should I use the same blog I used for failed attempts? So far 8 of my followers have re-followed, so I have a proposition for you. Kinda.

Advertise my blog now, because once I hit 30 followers I will be giving away:

Okay, I planned on giving this away anyway, but not until I have more followers so more people have a chance. This book was passed on to me by the lovely Katie J and I'm finally almost done reading it as things have been so busy.

Not sure if I will do it as a giveaway, first person who comments type thing, or what, but when I finish it, and have 30 + followers, it will be given away.

It's not in 100% great shape, it definitely looks read, but hey, it's free ;).

So advertise this blog for me? About to go organize some more stuff for my new start, then read some more in it, so hopefully when I get back on I will have a few more followers :)

First post. Organization Process Begins.

2009-12-15T03:05:00.000-08:00

This is Caitlin, previous from Journey to a Better Me. I started a new blog for many reasons.

To begin with, I want a new start. A 100% new start. That blog has times where I tried, and "failed". It's "old" and started as the "old" me, this blog is starting as the dedicated, ready to succeed, me.

Also, my ex found the link to that one, and was telling my mom everything I wrote, and I pour my heart out in my blogs, it's the one place I can be honest, I don't need to be jumped for things I write.

So, this post is mildly short as I'm still getting everything set up, created a 100% new blogger account, where I will be moving over people I follow slowly.

Project Revamp

Sleep Schedule Comes First

New Game to Help Out

So..

The song that is inspiring me:

Testing

So, tomorrow..

Guess what.

Starting Monday

Is Coming Back [Full Force]

To Do List

Check Up

I’m Still Alive

Challenge Time !

Day of Silence

Adult Content Warning

No Booing

30 Things To Do in April [2]

Okay; I fail

The Goals and The Pledge

Comment Please

End Of March

Ask me Anything

New Blogger

30 Things To Do In April

Question

First Wordless Post

Ouch!

Ignore My Last Post

I so just realized..

Giveaway [not Mine]

Nothing to Say

Ugh Running.

The Sleep Paid Off

A Bit Of Honesty

Still Awake *yawn*

A Quick Update

An Award, for me?!

A Blunt, but True Post.

The List..updated

The Images for Teh Quotes

We Have A Winner

10 Quotes

Reasons for Overeating?

Oh wow

Giveaway from iHerb ;o

Giveaway Time

New Layout

31 Things To Do In March

Busy Busy Busy

HoneyBar Giveaway

Tuesday + Shoutouts

100 Truths

Newsflash;

Confucius + Fridayyy

“ It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop." Confucius

Thursday Post & My Sister's Keeper

"I'm Bluffin' with my Muffin"

Comp Paper Help?

An Introduction..Of Sorts

Jillian? :o

Real Post :o

I am not MIA..promise

Uncertainty and Dependency

Oh how I love alone time !

Organization +

12/19/2009

Oh wow

The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl

First post. Organization Process Begins.

Still Awake yawn